Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
