I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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