and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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