Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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