I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
