There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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