I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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