I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
