ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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