oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
