I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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