I need to stop coming to work sober
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
