I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
