Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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