Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
splinters make it hard to masturbate
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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