I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
