ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
