He asked to "fluff my boner.."
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
