I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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