so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
