after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
