Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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