Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
