I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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