this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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