physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
