I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
