I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My vagina just recognized that song.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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