oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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