I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
