my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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