i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
