found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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