my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
