Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My life is pants optional.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
