Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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