She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
