It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
