Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
