Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
