Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize