she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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