please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
