ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
