Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
