my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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