Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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