Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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