It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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