is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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