Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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